Parents want their children to be professionally successful, well liked, financially independent, and happy. But the world will benefit most from children who are raised primarily to be good. Good children grow into individuals who bring humanity and security to a fragile world. Here is a list of the top 5 traits to instill in kids—for society’s sake:
1. Empathy—Compassion underlies all morality. A person cannot act honorably if he or she is unable to relate to the feelings, situations, and motives of others, and attach to them emotionally. Youngsters cannot act kindly if they believe they are the center of the universe and consider their feelings supreme. Empathy is powerful. It can prevent one child from hurting another through physical violence or humiliation. The Columbine shooters displayed a lack of empathy to the extreme.
2. Humility—Humility elicits wonder and admiration from others. It inspires those of us who recognize it to explore our own characters—to soul-search and to measure ourselves against it. Humility is a modest, unassuming, unpretentious nature that incorporates a polite respect for others. Humble people glide smoothly from one place to another. They have no egos to feed. They do now blow their own horns or sing their own praises. They are as attentive to the local server or grocery clerk as they are to the most esteemed corporate head.
3. Individuality—It takes courage to stand alone when peer pressure is pushing in on you from every angle. Independent thinkers have strong backbones that protect them from being influenced by the behavior of others. They are not afraid to make tough choices and to risk some losses. Children who confidently think outside the teenage box are often appreciated, respected, and admired by their peers for being able to extend beyond conventional group think. Distinctive kids are proud of being unique and eccentric, and they delight in not fitting in. These children become leaders of healthy trends, developers of fresh ideas, and creators of new ways of accomplishing things.
4. Balance—Balance brings poise and equilibrium to our potholed lives. Maintaining stability means living a full and active life that stimulates the intellect, inspires creativity, fuels physical activity, and arouses care and curiosity. When a child’s life is replete with varied activities, disappointments (like failed friendships) produce nothing more than a slight bump in the road—not total and dismal destruction. When something leaves a hole in the fabric of a steady child, other activities and interests rush in to fill the space. Balance ensures that childhood pressures don’t interrupt the flow of our children’s lives, cripple their performance, depress their dispositions, or attract them to unhealthy and numbing alternative solutions.
5. Self-Control—Eric Hoffer worte: “The basic test of freedom is perhaps less in what we are free to do than in what we are free not to do.” To children, freedom is the confidence their parents have in them to do the right thing—to leave that party or to get out of that car. Maintaining freedom is having the restraint not to do the irresponsible thing—not to drink that beer or smoke that joint. Children who have the self-control to think ahead about consequences to rash and reckless behavior, learn to make wise decisions and lead decent lives. Choosing to live within the family unit’s rules and regulations ensures continued trust, respect, and freedom—all of which are earned by performing honorable acts.
Evil exists, and there are many ways to combat it. We can fight it, arrest it, “treat” it, and understand it. Or we can avoid some of it by giving our children tools and reasons for being good, for having integrity, and for demonstrating character. As William Ross Wallace wrote, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”
