Michael Phelps has lost a lot – endorsements, income, trust, and respect. But his public ordeal is a gift to those parents who have the sense to recognize it and the spirit to act on it. A parent’s job is to raise honorable and responsible children who will one day become honorable and responsible adults. That means that parents must constantly be on the lookout for character-building opportunities, the kind that happen in family units every day.

                When Michael Phelps smoked an illegal substance at a college party, his contribution to parenting became significant. Michael Phelps opened the door for moms and dads to discuss many topics with their children—and to instill their family values while in the process. Here are some questions you may want to bring up with your children:

1.       Are you willing to restrain your social impulses and think about possible consequences before you act, even if you are surrounded by a room full of energetic and influential peers?

2.       Do the decisions you make impact you exclusively, or do they affect others, as well—your family, your friends, your school, and your neighborhood?

3.       Trust can be lost in an instant. Can it be earned back? If so, how?

4.       What are you willing to risk in order to keep the things you have worked so hard for?

5.       What’s more important? The physical courage it takes to swim faster, longer, and harder than anyone else? Or the moral courage it takes to control your urges and act responsibly?

6.       When you stand out from the crowd and behave wisely, are peers more likely to mock your viewpoint or admire your conviction?

7.        Would real friends encourage you to smoke that joint, knowing that by doing so you would be risking your name and reputation?

8.       After Michael Phelps lost his Kellogg endorsement, he apologized. Was that apology enough? Does he need to do more to satisfy his followers?

                School is not a game of wits between parents and their children; it is a serious business. More often than not, your child’s classroom performance is a predictor of his or her future workplace performance. Parents must take an active role in their children’s education, and the time to start is in kindergarten. Today’s kindergarteners do more than sing and play. Most likely, they are learning to read simple stories and develop basic math skills.

                To help ensure your child’s educational success, ask “Johnny or Susie” to tell you what they did in school—every day. Do not accept “nothing” as an answer. Probe them, and then probe them some more. Be an active participant in your child’s school day. This also applies to children in the lower grades. These days, even the youngest students receive homework assignments. If you get nervous every time you mention “schoolwork” to your youngster, it’s time to get on the phone and make an appointment with the teacher.

                If you’re available, volunteer in your child’s classroom. I’m not aware of too many teachers who would turn down extra help. Make yourself visible. Your son or daughter may ask, “Mom, why do you have to be in my classroom?” And your answer should be simple: “I love you and I enjoy seeing what you do in school.” While you are helping in the classroom, you will be getting a “bird’s eye” view of where your child is, educationally speaking, compared to the other students in the room. If you think you need to have a conference with the teacher, make an appointment to discuss your concerns. Keep an open mind and remain objective.

                One of your goals as a parent is to help your kids succeed. One way to do that is to take an active role in their education. When you get involved, your children will be the lucky beneficiaries of your effort, your interest, and your love.

            Dear Mrs. Goldman,

            My child started kindergarten last fall. I realize that kindergarten is not college training, but I would like my son to have the best start possible. Is there anything I can do now to help him prepare for the rigorous school days ahead?

—Kinder-Parent

            Dear Kinder-Parent,

            You are right; kindergarten is hardly prepping for the SATs that your child will face in nine or ten years. Yet there are things you can start doing now that will give your child the best possible chance for success.

            Parents are the primary piece of a child’s educational success story. The involvement, interest, and enthusiasm you demonstrate will be the single most important factor in your son’s school success. Talk with your child’s teachers and get well informed about what is expected of their students; check the school and classroom Web pages regularly; attend conferences and parent meetings; know your child’s friends and their families. All of this information will help you to help your youngster succeed in school.

            Show an interest in what your child is learning and doing in school; look at his textbooks; share your own expertise; encourage him to delve deeper into subjects he shows interest in.

            Take your son to the library often; help him find books of interest; share some of your own special picks; make the library a regular part of his routine, not just a place he visits now and then.

            It is difficult for parents to be their child’s teacher or coach. Really, your role is that of a cheerleader who encourages effort and performance. When your child sees you recognize how hard he is trying, he may want to try even harder.

            Kindergarten is not training for college, but it certainly is a place where good habits begin for students and their parents.