Summer. For children it is one huge vacation, and for parents it is often a very long time to have kids home all day. Here is a list of activities that may please everyone.

            ACADEMIC: Summer vacation can often be up to 12 weeks long. That is a huge gap for kids who struggle with academics. There are a variety of ways to help fill in that gap. Tutoring centers focus on your child’s weak spots and help strengthen those academic areas. Centers such as Sylvan, Huntington, and The Tutoring Club offer small-group help. These centers do charge, but sometimes this type of tutoring is just what your child needs to become grade-level competent.

            Seek tutoring from older siblings, neighbors, or other high school students. Contact your local high school and talk with the department head of the subject you need. He or she may have names of students who are looking for summer work. These charges are usually much lower than commercial center charges. Plus, you have the advantage of using the exact curriculum you need.

             Contact your child’s current teacher and ask for materials that will help you help your child. Asking for materials that your child will be using next year will help your child become more confident with the material before it is taught. Pre-teaching is an excellent strategy for those students who need extra time to assimilate the new content. Local community colleges and universities may offer tutoring in academic areas of math and reading. They are usually not that expensive; they may use upper division/graduate students or teachers as tutors.

            CREATIVE: There are many local sources to help your child express creativity. The local YMCA offers many opportunities for crafts, drama, sports, babysitting, and cooking!  Look for these activities early because they tend to fill up quickly. Community theaters often schedule special children’s performances during the summer. Local universities may offer opportunities for challenging students in the areas of math, science, and writing.

            ECONOMIC: Even though your children may be young, there are ways for them to earn money during the summer. Using a skill or interest is a great place to start. If your child is well-versed in using computers, hire them to organize your e-mails or set up a family Web page complete with pictures and stories that can keep the other relatives up-to-date with your family’s happenings. Have your children organize your family pictures or create scrapbooks; that’s another good way for them to be creative.

            While babysitting is a great way for teenagers to earn money, they might also consider pet sitting or pet walking. If your children love reading, have them create audio books for primary children. Reading a story, complete with sound effects, into a tape recorder is a great way for them to practice their own reading fluency and entertain younger children, as well. They can even offer their recordings to a local library or day care center.

At my recent book launch party, I savored the time I spent with a 12-year-old boy named Ryan. Not only is Ryan adorable and charming, but he expresses judgments and viewpoints that reflect the time his mother has spent teaching him honor, integrity, and family values.

Part of the program for book-launch day was to demonstrate how our upcoming My Goodness: My Kids Companion Workbook can help parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends engage the children in their lives in meaningful ethics-based, values-based conversations. The Workbook presents age-appropriate, scenario-based questions that adults and kids can explore together in small group settings or at home.

Ryan’s job was to illustrate to our audience how grown-ups in open dialog with children can fan the flames of insight and judgment in young, developing minds.

But what happened that day is what often happens when adults relate intimately to children. The planned presentation turned itself around and pointed its lesson back at the many adults who were present.

As Ryan confidently and unwaveringly answered provocative questions such as “What would you do if another student in your class asked to copy your homework the morning it was due?” the expressions on the faces of the adults in the room went from fleeting interest to jaw-dropping awe. As the adults apprehensively scratched their heads wondering how in the world they would answer the questions being asked, Ryan was confidently and unequivocally responding to the queries from an unmistakable foundation of standards he has been taught in his home by his mother.

Ryan was a hit—a huge hit. And he whacked many of the adults who were in the room right where it hurts—in their consciences. He didn’t vacillate; he held fast. He didn’t surrender his principles; he was unwavering.  He didn’t struggle to come up with creative solutions; he proposed what was right.

It was a joy for all of us to witness the wisdom and wonder of a young boy whose mother took the time to teach, discuss, role play, and guide her son. The principles he carries so naturally within him clearly are benefitting him and his family. But in the end, society will be the major beneficiary of Ryan’s strong character as he participates in and contributes to the world around him.

Dear Mrs. Goldman:  My 12-year-old son and my 9-year-old daughter are both avid readers. They read anything and everything, and I am not complaining. However, both of my children struggle with math. I tell them that both math and reading are important, but they would rather read than work on their math skills. With summer approaching, is there any way I can interest them in math skills, in addition to reading?  Linda D.

Dear Linda:  As an ardent reader myself, I understand the importance of having strong reading skills. However, I do not want to discount the significance of math in our world. A good sense of numbers is necessary in almost every professional field. One way to interest your children in math is to have them discuss career opportunities with your friends and acquaintances. Ask other adults to share with your children how math is used in their jobs every day. Industries like music, interior decorating, fashion design, and carpentry all use math.   Your children might enjoy math practice if it proved to be more exciting than “drill-and-kill” exercises pulled directly from a textbook or workbook. Many wonderful Internet sites can help pique their interest.

• http://www.pacificnet.net/-mandel/math.html, a site that is usually written for teachers by teachers, offers some interesting lessons that your children could try at home.
• http://www.agirlsworld.com/amy/pajama/school/studysmart/math-study-tips.html offers tips on studying, including forming your own study group with friends. Friends can turn a work session into a fun session.
• http://apples4theteacher.com/math.html offers a game atmosphere to kids while they practice important math concepts.
• http://www.aplusmath.com/ offers cool games that children love. In reality, these are flash card drills, but since they are on the computer, they feel like games!
• http://www.kidskonnect.com/content/view/292/27/ (KidsKonnect) is an arcade of math sites and games that will entertain your children while they learn.
• http://www.funbrain.com/math/ (Fun Brain) offers baseball-themed math practice just in time for summer. They also have other programs that offer math practice.
• http://coolmath.com/ offers games in all curriculum areas, including math.

Most of these sites are geared for children to visit on their own. If these are not what you are looking for, type “math games” into your search engine and see how many addresses come up! There are many wonderful Internet sites that offer real content practice. It has almost become unnecessary to purchase software for this purpose. Most Internet math sites include lessons appropriate for elementary school students through high school. If at any time your children require more practice (or just want to have fun while learning), keep these sites bookmarked in a special folder for your children to access. Most math game sites are child safe, but visit them first to be sure your children will be using sites you approve of.

Dear Dr. Essig,

We are the parents of a 14-year-old daughter named Ashley. Until now, she has been an easy-going, well-behaved child. Lately, she balks and argues about everything. She is disrespectful to us, her grades are poor, and she is late coming home after school. She has new friends, and neither her father nor I approve of the ones we have met.

It seems as if Ashley is out of control. She and her dad are on a father-daughter bowling league. Their team will be going to the county finals this summer, but Ashley has decided that she will not participate. Her father is heartbroken.

What has happened to our wonderful daughter? How can we rekindle our friendship with her?

Perplexed Parents

Dear Perplexed Parents,

First, I recommend an organization called Tough Love. They offer help to families who are struggling through situations like yours. Also, they provide support to parents who are working with Tough Love facilitators and other participating families.

You say, “It seems as if Ashley is out of control.” Well, Ashley is out of control, and you must not let her current behavior continue! You and your husband must be “joined at the hip” as you endeavor to turn Ashley’s behavior around and restore harmony to your household. Ashley needs the two of you to act like parents. There is plenty of time to be her friend when your child-rearing years are over.

Tell Ashley, “Because your behavior is no longer trustworthy, the rules in our house are going to change.” If she starts arguing, act like parents and announce your plan. Advise her that she now has to earn back your trust. Don’t give in to protests. If you do, you abdicate your role as parents, and Ashley pays the price!Here are some rules to consider:

1.    Act respectfully to your parents at all times.

2.    Come straight home after school (or we will start picking you up every day).

3.    Your friends are welcome here only if their behavior is appropriate. When they visit, your door is to remain open at all times. They will leave when we say it is time for them to leave.

4.    You may not go out with friends until there is substantial improvement in your grades, and then, we must approve of the friends.

5.    You will go to the bowling team finals. You will not let the team or your father down.

6.    The three of us will join Tough Love, which is a group that helps families who have gotten off track.

7.    You will start your homework before dinner and before visits from friends.

8.    If any of these rules are broken, there will be consequences

Tell her you love her, but explain that it is your responsibility to ensure that she grows up to be the very best person she can be.”

Marcia Essig, Ph.D.