Dear Mrs. Goldman,

            My child started kindergarten last fall. I realize that kindergarten is not college training, but I would like my son to have the best start possible. Is there anything I can do now to help him prepare for the rigorous school days ahead?

—Kinder-Parent

            Dear Kinder-Parent,

            You are right; kindergarten is hardly prepping for the SATs that your child will face in nine or ten years. Yet there are things you can start doing now that will give your child the best possible chance for success.

            Parents are the primary piece of a child’s educational success story. The involvement, interest, and enthusiasm you demonstrate will be the single most important factor in your son’s school success. Talk with your child’s teachers and get well informed about what is expected of their students; check the school and classroom Web pages regularly; attend conferences and parent meetings; know your child’s friends and their families. All of this information will help you to help your youngster succeed in school.

            Show an interest in what your child is learning and doing in school; look at his textbooks; share your own expertise; encourage him to delve deeper into subjects he shows interest in.

            Take your son to the library often; help him find books of interest; share some of your own special picks; make the library a regular part of his routine, not just a place he visits now and then.

            It is difficult for parents to be their child’s teacher or coach. Really, your role is that of a cheerleader who encourages effort and performance. When your child sees you recognize how hard he is trying, he may want to try even harder.

            Kindergarten is not training for college, but it certainly is a place where good habits begin for students and their parents.

Dear Mrs. Goldman,

With the school year in full swing, my 11-year old daughter has found herself in the middle of a group of girls who are sometimes not very nice to other students. My daughter finds their behavior unacceptable, but she is afraid to step away from this group of girls. Is there anything she can do to stop the behavior (or misbehavior) of this group without alienating them?

Concerned Parent

Dear Concerned Parent,

This seems to be a problem for all times. Just look at our country’s political situation throughout the years. There you will to see the entire scope of school playground problems enlarged on the world’s stage. Diplomacy and tact are required in your daughter’s situation. Here is one possible solution: Your daughter tells her friends that she doesn’t like their behavior and then just walks away. But, most likely, that approach would alienate these girls from your daughter. Since she does not wish that to happen, she needs to become the head of the “United Nations” and plan her strategy diplomatically.

Sometimes talking with the classroom teacher helps resolve some of these issues. Teachers can rearrange work groups so that different students work together on different projects. Working with another group of students helps children recognize the strengths of each individual child.

On the playground, your daughter could point out to the misbehaving group that certain students have great athletic ability and would be assets to one of the school’s sports teams. Or your daughter could encourage the girls who are being mistreated to engage with your daughter’s other friends one-on-one, rather than as a group. Offering to help with an assignment (or asking for help) can demonstrate that each girl has something to offer.

Becoming involved in activities outside of school may encourage all of the girls to get along in a neutral setting. Girl Scouts, volunteer groups, book clubs, tutoring, and helping a teacher after school all can help students see each other in a more positive light.          

If nothing seems to be working and your daughter is still unhappy with her friends’ behavior, she may have to make a choice about what type of friends she wants to keep. Associating with people who do not respect your opinions and do not reflect your values may be something your daughter needs to think about.

Dear Mrs. Goldman,

Well, here it is…the start of a new school year. My children are excited about going back to school. Supplies have been purchased, and bags have been packed. How can I best support my children’s teachers? I want to make sure that everyone involved has a good, productive, and exciting year?

Mom

Dear Mom,

Just asking this question puts you at the front of the line with your children’s teachers. More than anything else, teachers want to assure that every child in their classroom has a great school year. Here is one thing you can do to help steer your kids’ educational path in a positive direction:

Introduce yourself to your children’s teachers early on in the school year. Be courteous and respectful of your teachers’ time. Make an appointment to meet. At that appointment, tell your teachers anything they should know about your children that might affect their school year. Is there a health issue? a behavior issue? a schedule issue? Tell the teachers all they need to know to help your children be successful.

In addition, inform your children’s teachers of any academic issues that affect your children. Are they strong (or weak) readers? Is math a strong (or weak) subject? What can you expect in terms of daily homework? Is there a Web site that can inform and update you on a daily basis?

Find out the quickest and easiest way to maintain contact with your kids’ teachers. Does e-mail work best? Are phone messages preferred? Passing notes back and forth through your children is another way to establish communication. If your kids use daily assignment books, notes can be written in them and checked regularly by both teachers and parents.

Your initial meeting with your children’s teachers can be very productive. It can help your kids, their teachers, and you have a great school year!

Dear Mrs. Goldman,

Now that summer is winding down, even my children are getting excited about school starting again. How can I help them have the best school year ever?

–Nancy G.

Dear Nancy,

Having worked as a teacher for about a hundred years (!), I have often thought that Labor Day and New Year’s Day should be reversed on the calendar. The first day of school is similar to New Year’s Day; it is filled with anticipation, excitement, and resolutions. To demonstrate to my students that fall is, indeed, a time for new beginnings, I used to adorn my September classroom with “Happy New Year” decorations. How can you prepare your child for the coming school year? Here are a few things you can do before school starts.

First, start acclimating your children to school bedtime and wake-up hours. Easing your children into an earlier bedtime (even 15-30 minutes earlier each night) will help them adjust to school hours. Waking them up a few minutes earlier each day will help them respond to school wake-up calls.

If your children have not acquired the reading habit during the summer (:-( ), September is a great time to start. Take your kids to the library or bookstore, and help them choose a book they will enjoy reading. Re-reading a favorite (but age-appropriate) book is okay, too. Have your children read for a few minutes every night before lights out; this routine will help them relax and fall asleep more easily.

Preparing lunch for your children’s school day is something your kids can help you with. Give them a few choices for sandwiches, vegetables, fruits, drinks, and snacks; then let them pick one food from each group. They will have a say in what they will be eating, but you will maintain control over their choices. To familiarize them with the process, start making lunches a few weeks prior to the first day of school. To help regulate your child’s appetite, find out what time the school’s lunch period is, and then begin serving lunches at home at the same time. While you are preparing lunches, offer your children lessons about nutrition and the value of saving money.

Be sure your child has a place to complete homework assignments. When you shop for school supplies, select some that will remain at home. Having a place to put homework tools is important. Some things to have on hand at home include a dictionary, thesaurus, atlas, pencils, paper, pens, markers, scissors, ruler, and calculator. Having these things easily accessible will reduce frustration at homework time. Have a brightly colored folder ready to put completed work in; this will remind your children where their homework is and when to turn in assignments.

Summer. For children it is one huge vacation, and for parents it is often a very long time to have kids home all day. Here is a list of activities that may please everyone.

            ACADEMIC: Summer vacation can often be up to 12 weeks long. That is a huge gap for kids who struggle with academics. There are a variety of ways to help fill in that gap. Tutoring centers focus on your child’s weak spots and help strengthen those academic areas. Centers such as Sylvan, Huntington, and The Tutoring Club offer small-group help. These centers do charge, but sometimes this type of tutoring is just what your child needs to become grade-level competent.

            Seek tutoring from older siblings, neighbors, or other high school students. Contact your local high school and talk with the department head of the subject you need. He or she may have names of students who are looking for summer work. These charges are usually much lower than commercial center charges. Plus, you have the advantage of using the exact curriculum you need.

             Contact your child’s current teacher and ask for materials that will help you help your child. Asking for materials that your child will be using next year will help your child become more confident with the material before it is taught. Pre-teaching is an excellent strategy for those students who need extra time to assimilate the new content. Local community colleges and universities may offer tutoring in academic areas of math and reading. They are usually not that expensive; they may use upper division/graduate students or teachers as tutors.

            CREATIVE: There are many local sources to help your child express creativity. The local YMCA offers many opportunities for crafts, drama, sports, babysitting, and cooking!  Look for these activities early because they tend to fill up quickly. Community theaters often schedule special children’s performances during the summer. Local universities may offer opportunities for challenging students in the areas of math, science, and writing.

            ECONOMIC: Even though your children may be young, there are ways for them to earn money during the summer. Using a skill or interest is a great place to start. If your child is well-versed in using computers, hire them to organize your e-mails or set up a family Web page complete with pictures and stories that can keep the other relatives up-to-date with your family’s happenings. Have your children organize your family pictures or create scrapbooks; that’s another good way for them to be creative.

            While babysitting is a great way for teenagers to earn money, they might also consider pet sitting or pet walking. If your children love reading, have them create audio books for primary children. Reading a story, complete with sound effects, into a tape recorder is a great way for them to practice their own reading fluency and entertain younger children, as well. They can even offer their recordings to a local library or day care center.

Dear Mrs. Goldman:  My 12-year-old son and my 9-year-old daughter are both avid readers. They read anything and everything, and I am not complaining. However, both of my children struggle with math. I tell them that both math and reading are important, but they would rather read than work on their math skills. With summer approaching, is there any way I can interest them in math skills, in addition to reading?  Linda D.

Dear Linda:  As an ardent reader myself, I understand the importance of having strong reading skills. However, I do not want to discount the significance of math in our world. A good sense of numbers is necessary in almost every professional field. One way to interest your children in math is to have them discuss career opportunities with your friends and acquaintances. Ask other adults to share with your children how math is used in their jobs every day. Industries like music, interior decorating, fashion design, and carpentry all use math.   Your children might enjoy math practice if it proved to be more exciting than “drill-and-kill” exercises pulled directly from a textbook or workbook. Many wonderful Internet sites can help pique their interest.

• http://www.pacificnet.net/-mandel/math.html, a site that is usually written for teachers by teachers, offers some interesting lessons that your children could try at home.
• http://www.agirlsworld.com/amy/pajama/school/studysmart/math-study-tips.html offers tips on studying, including forming your own study group with friends. Friends can turn a work session into a fun session.
• http://apples4theteacher.com/math.html offers a game atmosphere to kids while they practice important math concepts.
• http://www.aplusmath.com/ offers cool games that children love. In reality, these are flash card drills, but since they are on the computer, they feel like games!
• http://www.kidskonnect.com/content/view/292/27/ (KidsKonnect) is an arcade of math sites and games that will entertain your children while they learn.
• http://www.funbrain.com/math/ (Fun Brain) offers baseball-themed math practice just in time for summer. They also have other programs that offer math practice.
• http://coolmath.com/ offers games in all curriculum areas, including math.

Most of these sites are geared for children to visit on their own. If these are not what you are looking for, type “math games” into your search engine and see how many addresses come up! There are many wonderful Internet sites that offer real content practice. It has almost become unnecessary to purchase software for this purpose. Most Internet math sites include lessons appropriate for elementary school students through high school. If at any time your children require more practice (or just want to have fun while learning), keep these sites bookmarked in a special folder for your children to access. Most math game sites are child safe, but visit them first to be sure your children will be using sites you approve of.

Dear Mrs. Goldman, I have two children; Brenda is 11 and George is 13. Long-term school assignments seem to be an issue for both of them. Brenda is my “perfectionist.” Although she starts her assignments immediately, she feels as if nothing is ever done well enough for her to finish it. George is my “procrastinator.” He never seems to start anything in a timely manner. I am constantly nagging-at Brenda to finish her assignments and at George to start his-in order to avoid the late night crunch that inevitably takes place the evening before a due date. Help! I’m tired of nagging. –Laura T.

Dear Laura, you have two children who appear to be at opposite ends of the assignment spectrum. However, the solution may be the same for both of them. Brenda appears to be very capable, but lacking in confidence with regard to her abilities. George seems to feel his assignments are no big deal and that he will be able to complete them quickly once he decides to start.

An assignment calendar may be the solution for both of your children. On the calendar write when an assignment is given and when it is due. Be sure to add all of the other commitments your children have, such as sports, music lessons, or anything else that affects their homework schedule.

Along the way, add periodic checklist items that will help bring your kids’ assignments to fruition. By adding specific dates for partial steps leading toward the completion of the assignment, Brenda will be able to move along with her work, and George will see that his task is bigger than he thinks it is. If George sees small part asks that can be done easily and quickly, he may be more likely to complete each partial step on the calendar date, thus having the majority of the work done well in advance of his due date.

On your calendar, place your due date several days before the teacher’s due date. That will allow for unexpected events like illness, last-minute sports events, or other things that can get in the way of preplanned events. Having those extra few days at the end of an assignment will show your children that they can calmly add extra details to their assignments that wouldn’t otherwise get done.

When assignments are given weeks ahead of time, many students feel “they have plenty of time.” As a result, they do not use their time wisely. If the teacher does not give periodic partial due dates (i.e., notes due, outline due, bibliography due, et cetera), then you can help your children proceed with the assignment by creating a list of the tasks being asked of them. Using a calendar will help your children see the “big picture” and recognize that the whole project is made up of smaller segments.

Show your children your own daily planner. Let them see that developing time management skills is a grown-up behavior that they will have to master in order to succeed in an adult workplace.

Dear Mrs. Goldman, as the weather warms up and the end of the school year approaches, my son, a seventh grader, has developed a less-than-acceptable attitude about school. While it is way too early for “senior-itis,” his behavior definitely reflects that phenomenon. How can I instill in him how important it is to focus on his studies for the rest of the school year? –Danny’s Mom.

Dear Danny’s Mom, you are not alone. As spring arrives, this attitude becomes a common one for many students. Let’s look at some reasons why Danny’s performance might be falling and some methods you can use to motivate him.

•  If Danny is a good student, review his previous report cards with him; this will remind him that he is bright and capable.

• If being on the Honor Roll is important to Danny, show him how falling grades could affect that goal.
• If Danny has college in his future, look at college catalogues with him and review the entrance requirements. This will remind him that hard work now will help him achieve his acceptance goals. If he tells you that grades don’t count until 9^th grade and that he’ll work hard when he gets into high school, inform him that nothing miraculous is going to happen between eighth and ninth grade to instill good study habits. Those habits are developed over time. If he wants to be successful in school now and in the future, pyramid building is what is required.
• Remind Danny that if summer vacation is to be what he hopes it to be (camps, beach, accelerated classes, time with friends, earning extra money), attending summer school or other remedial catch-up programs might cramp his style. If he works hard until the end of the school year, his summer plans will be more to his liking.
• Examine carefully where and why Danny’s performance is slipping. Schedule a conference with his teachers; they might enlighten you to a problem that can be easily solved. Is Danny over-scheduled and left with little time to attend to his school work? Has a new sport started that is taking more time than he originally planned? There are some Little League Baseball games that don’t even start until 8 p.m. on school nights. Something like that could seriously affect Danny’s school performance. Take a closer look at extra-curricular activities to determine if you should re-arrange your child’s priorities.

Remind Danny that currently school is his job; it is his first and most important priority. To assure his continued success, help him make some adjustments to his schedule. In addition, remind him of a special activity that you have planned during summer vacation; this will help him keep his eye on the ball-a successful end of the school year.

Dear Mrs. Goldman, I am a reader. My children always see me reading something—magazines, novels, newspapers, recipes, patterns, their homework, and more. Like me, my oldest son (14) is a voracious reader; in fact, he can’t fall asleep at night without reading first for 30 minutes or so. My younger son (9) wants nothing to do with voluntary reading. However, he does well in school, completes all of his assignments, and is on the honor roll. When it comes to reading for enjoyment, my younger son is just not interested. I have tried to entice him with books I loved as a child and books his brother loved at his age, but without success. What can I do to inspire him to love reading? –Nina C.

Dear Nina, your problem is common for boys and girls your son’s age. Here are a few things to consider: Is your son over-scheduled? If he is overly busy with schoolwork, sports, clubs, and other activities, he may be too tired at the end of the day to pick up a book and enjoy it. If that is the case for your son, try something relaxing like visiting a library or a bookstore on weekends or school vacations.

If your child would rather watch TV or play on a computer, then you have a window of opportunity to reach him. You might spark his interest with a book based on a movie he enjoyed. If he loved the Harry Potter films, try reading one of those books with him. Even at his age, kids love to be read to.

Today, “graphic novels” are popular. I know the name suggests comic books, but graphic novels are hard bound and look just like books! One series, called Time Soldiers, is based on the adventures of four time-traveling young boys. In addition to graphic novels, look for traditional books about dinosaurs, young King Arthur, Samurai soldiers, pirates, and mummies. These are topics that usually interest boys and girls alike.

The Choose Your Own Adventure series has been around for a long time. Each book has built-in stops at strategic points in the story. The reader then decides how the story continues. (Turn to page 35 if the team travels by airplane. Turn to page 38 if they travel by boat.) Choices occur throughout the book. Your son will feel ownership with this series, since he will be controlling what happens next in the story. And he can reread the book many times, changing the story line with each sitting.

Don’t forget Captain Underpants by Dav Pilkey, and books by R. L. Stine. While these titles may not be considered “great” literature, they might be effective at encouraging your son to start reading and then keep reading. Eventually, your child will outgrow these books and look elsewhere for new experiences.

Here are some books that offer great picks for young readers: Best Books for Kids Who [think they] Hate to Read by Laura Backes and How to Get Your Child to Love Reading by Esme Raji Codell. Their pages are filled with suggestions for kids of all ages and interests.

Recognize your child’s interests.If your son has a keen interest in science, try Magic School Bus books. The hilarious adventures of Mrs. Frizzle are educational and easy to read. If your child is interested in history, try books about the Civil War, ancient Egypt, or Greek myths. If your child only has eyes for skateboarding, surfing, football, or baseball, try books by Matt Christopher. He is an author who writes about sports in stories that children enjoy.

Question:  Dear Mrs. Goldman,

Our family just had a wonderful winter break from school and activities. My husband and I treasured the time we spent with our two children, Melissa (9) and Jason (11). With no pressure from school, sports, or other activities, we were truly able to enjoy each other’s company.

Now that the children are back in school, it seems that the pressure is worse than ever. How can we maintain the enjoyable relationship we shared with our children over the break and still keep them involved and interested in school? –Monica C.

Answer:  Dear Monica,

You are not alone. Many parents and students feel just as you do. Would it surprise you to learn that even teachers feel that way after a break? They also feel a pressure crunch—from administrators, next year’s teachers, and parents, as well. Some parents want more homework, and others prefer no homework. Where is the middle ground for the teachers?

The first step for parents and children is to become organized. Keep a calendar in a prominent place in your home (refrigerator, bathroom mirror, desk) that lists all due dates, including what is due the next day. Crossing things off as they are completed will give everyone a sense of accomplishment.

Managing time is a skill that must be mastered. Seeing an assignment that is due in three days will encourage your child to work on it a little each day, rather than cram all of it into the last day. Work with your child’s teacher to set up regular assignments (math every night, reading every night, a spelling test on Fridays, a book report at the end of each month) so that everyone can see “the big picture.”

Time schedules are important. For a few weeks, monitor your child’s homework time. Just how long is he or she spending on homework? Do not count the time your child spends walking around the house, eating a snack, or playing a video game. Once you have an accurate measurement, think of average daily homework time as being about 10 minutes for each grade (10 minutes for first graders, 20 minutes for second graders, et cetera.) That time may not necessarily include free reading. If your child is spending considerably longer than this estimate, talk with your child’s teacher. Perhaps there is another issue that the teacher should be aware of. If your child does not understand what to do or how to do it, his performance will weaken.

For family harmony, complete all homework assignments before dinner. Most family members are pretty worn out by after-dinner time, and all they want to do is relax and enjoy being together. Having homework hanging over everyone’s head will certainly put a damper on that goal.

Completing the least favorite assignment or subject first keeps homework momentum going. After your child finishes the most difficult or unpleasant assignments, then he can look forward to flowing through the tasks he enjoys performing most.